A limerick is a humorous poem consisting of five lines. The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm. The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables, and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm.

A Trumpence

Don and Mike were seeking a trumpence
For a scheme they both had come up with
Their plans were laid down
Both looked like real clowns
And instead recieved a comeuppance


To live a life eternal
Is to hold a dream infernal
For into the ground
You are surely bound
Your dreams flushed just like a urinal


Life made of love and laughter
Can read like the greatest chapter
Of your favorite of books
With an intricate hook
Though no sequel is guaranteed after


Be still my beating heart
Was writ in a great piece of art
Thank goodness not literal
For it would be pitiful
If the heart would fail to restart


My words I swear are true
Except the above stated view
But now I will tell
My story so well
It will leave you lost and confused


I decided to write limericks
Only to find no one gave a shit
I’m wasting my time
But I really don’t mind
They are solely for my own benefit


I felt the waves crashing down
For a moment I felt I may drown
A quite absurd notion
Never been near an ocean
And I prefer my feet on dry ground
(Not part of the limerick but what a weird fucking dream.)


Surely perfect in every way
I’m the best each and every day
You know this is true
There’s naught I can’t do
Except finish this limerick using the proper, widely accepted format.

Tom Waits

Tom Waits is a man of great talent
Posing verse and lyrics quite valiant
Though I said he’s a man
You should understand
I’d check God if handed a ballot


Many styles of shoe you might find
Cantabrian albarcas like mine
That’s not really true
Though in Spain they will do
Clearly I Googled shoes for this rhyme

Pop Music

Did you hear the latest sensation
Spreading like fire through the nation
This hook heavy band
Has taken the land
True artists are left with frustration


Last night I saw a ghost, it’s true
And I thought “What should I do?”
So I began to rewind
The film, oh quite fine
Though it’s antagonist I can see through

A Baker’s Dozen

My play on this format is through
Enjoyable to write one or two
But a firm baker’s dozen
Has left me with nothin’
But looking for new things to do

That was weird.


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